It feels weird. I feel anxious, excited and scared all at the same time.

The place I’ve called home for the past decade is no longer where I’m going to be starting this Monday.

On the one hand, it’s the most comfortable job I’ve ever had and I could have probably cruised my way to many more years but on the other hand, my intellectual, emotional and spiritual growth capacity was tapped out because what I wanted to do for a living, changed.

A few years ago, I would have driven myself into multiple years of continuously learning and growing in that job but as I became an aspiring “author” with my book that’s coming out and lately as a “life coach”, I couldn’t help but admit that what I wanted to do on a daily basis shifted. I no longer wanted to be in an “office environment”, I want to be out there on the field meeting people, building relationships and friendships on a daily basis.

My personality, as I became more and more consciously aware of what I’m about, started dictating what I needed to do on a regular basis.

I had to dig down deep. Deeper than I had previously the 5 or 6 times I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t going. This was a job that I had seniority in, I had a great boss and worked with a great team, an environment where truly if I just did my job as I always have, everything would have been fine.

But the problem was, do I keep doing what I’ve been doing at the expense of my personal growth? If I knew deep down that it was no longer a match, do I just keep on going and keep cashing in the checks?

I really had to question myself and ask: WHAT DO I WANT? For the next 20 to 25 years of working, what do I want? At the end of the day, what is it that would make me feel that I’ve accomplished something? That I’ve succeeded? What would make me feel satisfied?

It’s difficult to face these questions when your comfortable. When everything that you need is being given to you, its very easy not to stop and look if you are still headed where you need to be going.

Having this thought, I took a day to ponder these questions one more time and really tried to face myself in the mirror. The fear of letting years pass by without me doing what I came here to do was far greater than the fear of losing my “comfort”.

What do I want?

1. When I look at my life and as I try to imagine the next 25 years of it, what I really want to do is to be able to Inspire People.

I want to share with people the feeling of living a life where every ounce of juice is being squeezed out of it in every moment and every second of everyday.

That’s what I really want to do, that’s what would inspire me the most and make me feel that I’ve lived my life to the fullest when my own “light” has shinned so much that the other “light” around me shines.

In my own experience, I know that my light shines the most when I perform the most. When I know that I’m continuously learning, growing, and contributing to getting myself better and influencing the people around me to also get better, that’s when I know that my light shines the most.

In a way, I started to realize, how can I possibly be performing at my “best” if the primary concern that I had was losing my comfort? It means that if my fear is the lost of comfort, I can’t possibly be at my “best” because it means I’m not pushing myself to new learnings.

And if I’m not learning, then I’m not growing and if I’m not growing, then I can’t possibly be at my best – and if I’m not at my best, then I won’t be happy and if I’m not happy – then what else is there?

2. I want to raise my own kids.

I don’t want to drop them off to a Nanny. I want to be there on their basketball games, their plays and every significant moment of their lives. Clearly I said to myself, a 9 to 6 job ain’t gonna cut it. I have to do my own thing in order for me to get this in my life. I need to be able to control my schedule and be flexible as otherwise, I’d end up exactly where I didn’t want to be.

This desire stems from my childhood, having been raised without a dad makes me want to be the “Best Dad” possible. Not just to become a Father but to really be a true loving presence of a Dad.

“Anyone can be a Father but it takes someone special to become a Dad.”

And to me, that starts today with me doing everything I can possibly do even before having my own kids show up to prepare and put myself in a better position where I could at least have a shot in becoming a “Dad”.

3. I want to dance with Aleona.

Continuously dance, randomly, on demand anywhere at any time. When I say “dance”, I mean it literally and figuratively because we have this thing where when we miss each other, we just start dancing while we’re talking. I hold her close to my arms while she wraps herself around me.

I want that. I want that as much as I can get it in this lifetime.

With all the things that we do individually in our lives, and having to plan our upcoming wedding, I’m realizing more and more that unless you physically live with me (or her), it’s virtually impossible to know what is going on within our lives. As there are so many things happening in any given day – the book, the life coaching, the blog, the nonprofit, the house, the condo, the City Council, countless meetings here and more meetings there, etc. – to the point that most of my friends I haven’t even seen or talked to in over six months.

But I’m okay with that, and I don’t mean to be okay with that in a mean kind of way – I’m okay with it because I can see how much “work” it takes to live out your dreams and so to me, I’ll sacrifice the hanging out with friends, the parties, and sometimes even the birthdays as long as I have my time with Aleona.

It’s a price I believe I have to pay in order to get the life I want to live.

I said to myself, if I lived the next 25 years doing the above, I would feel that I have lived a fulfilling life. This type of life would be the life that I would consider as me being FREE. Free from the perceptions of the World, free from my own limitations, and free to be the best that I could possibly be. That’s really all I want.

It was such a relief to have figured this out. Almost as if, the burden of the tough decision I had to make got lifted prior to me even making the official decision.

And as I went in further into myself, I started asking what would I need in order for me to accomplish the life I have described for myself above? What do I need? Outside of the basic necessities of food, clothing and shelter, what do I really need in order for me to accomplish the things that I really want?

What do I need?

1. Positivity.

I need consistent genuine positivity flowing towards me because it helps me accomplish daily tasks and goals a lot easier (and lot faster).

Now you have to understand, this was very difficult for me to admit. Because my “ego” was telling me that I’m a positive guy so why would I need positivity to come my way? Shouldn’t I – the “life coach” – be able to handle negative energy and turn it around into something positive?

This thought was running through my head. It was telling me that I shouldn’t have to need positive energy / people because I alone should be able to handle it and generate it for myself. Ridiculous I know but it was my reality (welcome to my brains).

I had to admit to myself that there is nothing wrong in wanting a better surrounding, into recognizing that there is nothing wrong with wanting to build relationships that inspired me and naturally made be the best that I could be just by being around those relationships.

2. Flexibility.

To be able to get to what I want, I need as much flexibility as I can get my hands on. Not just with my schedule but with the flexibility of the minds of the people I deal with.

Flexible and Open Minds in my experience leads to a buffet line of learning which ultimately, leads to self-improvements that leads me into becoming the best me that I could possibly be.

Anything else in my experience, leads to the opposite.

3. Laughter.

I need to laugh and have laughter everyday.

I know it sounds so “basic” but I’ve realized through the years that I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t have a sense of humor. With all the things I have on my plate, its very important to me to be in an environment that naturally makes me laugh, smile and enjoy day to day “chores” and make it fun – both at home and at work.

It’s critical for me to have this recognition because it is through this recognition that I become “intentional” in actually seeking this out in my everyday life (as opposed to it just happening by accident).

I know, in knowing myself, that if I had these 3 things with me, I can get to what I want.

If I got a consistent supply of these three things, I would naturally be able to accomplish and live the life that I want. There wouldn’t simply be a “bad day” anymore as long as I’m receiving a constant dosage of these things because regardless of the results – having these three things is making the process a lot more enjoyable and fulfilling for me.

Having the above written down in my journal, the decision to leave versus to stay boiled down to one simple thought: My fight to stay as bad as I wanted to was a reflection of the Fear I had of not wanting to let go of my comfort. Of not wanting to let go of my guaranteed salary, of my accrued vacations, of my seniority. Making excuses that I’ll stay because the people I work with are “family”.

In the end, it was clear – to stay simply meant that it was a “Fear Based Decision” (FBD).

Sounds like a disease doesn’t it? “FBD”?

Because I think it actually is, many of us, including me as proven by this long article that shows you how difficult it was even for me, the so called “life-coach” to make the right call, are stopped dead on our tracks because of our Fear of letting go.

When its easy, when its comfortable and relaxing to us, we get stuck and we hold on to them and we fight for them even if we already know that its not good for us.

You gotta understand, that job that I left behind was the highest paying and probably the most comfortable job I’ve ever had in my entire life. And the fear of letting all of that go was the one I had to face.

I still don’t know what the future holds, after I gave my resignation, I still felt very “jittery” and even up to now as I write this down on my journal, my hands are still very cold.

But I do know this – deciding to leave was the right decision for me. Because staying here means holding on to what is comfortable, it means holding on to what I’ve known for the past 9 years as secure, safe and easy for me. Staying simply meant being afraid of letting all of that go.

As a Life Coach, I always believe that every human being is capable of doing something AWESOME. I really believe we all have a purpose, a reason for existence that we came here to do. Every single one of us – janitors, clerks, VP’s, or CFO’s – it doesn’t matter – I genuinely believe that we are ALL meant for something bigger than what we are displaying.

But the reality is, I ALSO know that in order to for any of us to display our maximum full potential, it demands change. It requires being uncomfortable. It needs the backdrop of struggle, hardships and pain.

Light simply loses its relevance without the backdrop of darkness.

Therefore, the TRUE KEY to achieving our BEST is to develop an undying quench and hunger for Learning. Our FULFILLED LIFE demands us to have a quest to want to learn more everyday – to improve everyday – to want to get better everyday despite of the results that the paycheck may say or the results that our friends or even our own family may say – our quench for growth must simply not perish.

“Light it UP!”

Sincerely,

RG